Religions of the World:

Taoism: Shit Happens
Hinduism: This Shit Happened Before
Islam: If Shit Happens, Take A Hostage
Buddhism: When Shit Happens Is It Really Shit?
7th Day Adventist: Shit Happens On Saturday
Protesantism: Shit Won't Happen If I Work Harder
Catholicism: If Shit Happens, I Deserve It
Jehovah's Witness: Knock, Knock, "Shit Happens"
Judaism: Why Does Shit Always Happen To Me?
Hare Krishina: Shit Happens Rama Rama Ding Dong
Atheism: No Shit
T.V. Evangelism: Send More Shit
Rastafarianism: Let's Smoke This Shit